Troll yourself if your name is jim

If your name is jim and you want to troll yourself whenever you type www.google.com or www.youtube.com in the serch bar it will display some text to try to troll yourself when the page loads

// ==UserScript==
// @name         Troll yourself if your name is jim
// @version       1.2.6
// @description  If your name is jim and you want to troll yourself whenever you type www.google.com or www.youtube.com in the serch bar it will display some text to try to troll yourself when the page loads
// @author       Theawsomeyellowcatinthehat
// @match        https://www.google.com
// @match        http://www.google.com
// @match        https://www.youtube.com
// @match        http://www.youtube.com
// @match        https://www.code.org
// @match        http://www.code.org
// @match        https://twitter.com
// @match        http://twitter.com
// @run-at       document-start
// @grant        GM_xmlhttpRequest
// @namespace https://www.google.com
// ==/UserScript==
alert("red alert this is a message from the usa army jk lol just trying to see if this sript will finally work");
var firstName = "jim";
firstName;
alert(firstName + " Sucks");
alert("haha why are you bullying yourself");
alert(firstName + " get some help if you are bullying yourself");
alert(firstName + " Why did you download a script to bully yourself");
alert("I have tested this script out and it works so YaY!");
alert("Well YaY! not for you. You are my first test subjects");
alert("did you read through those?");
alert("Your nickname is jimbob")
var nickName = "jimbob";
nickName;
alert(nickName + " So how does it feel to bully yourself");
alert("Your father's new name is bimbob");
var fatherName = "bimbob"
fatherName;
alert("say hi to bimbob for me");
alert(fatherName + " ByeBye");
alert(" your mother's new name is susieq");
var motherName = "susieq";
motherName;
alert(motherName + " sucks hahahaha");
alert("this is the end of version 1.1");
alert("the first four of you are my test subjects how does it feel to be a test subject");
alert("please stop bullying yourself just get some help");
alert(" instead of jordans it should be jims because they take less work like you you do less work");
alert("I bet your so fat because you never hit the jim");
alert("I also bet you failed jim class");
alert("I bet that james was to hard to spell so you wrote jim");
alert("Your so dumb I bet you thought slim jims would make you skinnier");
alert("Your so dumb you thought that a slim jim was a new weight loss pill");
alert("no weight keep bullying yourself");
alert("this is the end for version 1.2");
alert("tell me some jokes in the feed back");
alert("welcome back " + nickName);
alert("I feel bad for you this must be taking forever to get to the website your trying to reach");
alert("this has to be getting annoying");
alert("sorry for not updating " + nickName);
alert("no this must be annoying");
alert("but your the one that downloaded it it's not my fault");
alert("sorry this is the end of version 1.2.6");