replaces words with more fun words
// ==UserScript==
// @name text reviver
// @namespace http://tampermonkey.net/
// @version 0.1
// @description replaces words with more fun words
// @author You
// @match https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*
// @icon http://wikipedia.org/favicon.ico
// @include http://code.jquery.com/jquery-3.5.1.min.js
// @grant none
// ==/UserScript==
(function() {
//Do you hate reading wikipedia? This will make it more fun.
function textNodesUnder(el) {
const children = [] // Type: Node[]
const walker = document.createTreeWalker(el, NodeFilter.SHOW_TEXT)
while(walker.nextNode()) {
children.push(walker.currentNode)
}
return children
}
function shuffle(array) {
let currentIndex = array.length, randomIndex;
// While there remain elements to shuffle.
while (currentIndex > 0) {
// Pick a remaining element.
randomIndex = Math.floor(Math.random() * currentIndex);
currentIndex--;
// And swap it with the current element.
[array[currentIndex], array[randomIndex]] = [
array[randomIndex], array[currentIndex]];
}
return array;
}
String.prototype.toProperCase = function () {
return this[0].toUpperCase() + this.substring(1, this.length).toLowerCase()
}
//setInterval(()=>{
//textNodesUnder(document.body).map( a=>a.textContent = shuffle(a.textContent.split("")).join("").toProperCase() )
//////
dict = {
"worm":"wyrm",
"hematuria": "bloody pee",
"mesangium":"space between the blood vessels",
"Bowman's capsule":"cup-like sacs",
"mesangial":"vessel space",
"lumen":"opening",
"fenestrae":"windows",
"fenestrations":"windows",
"glomerular basement membrane":"inner membrane",
"glomerulus":"capillary noodles", //noodly mess
"glomeruli":"capillary noodles",//cappilary stir fry
"tubular component":"bunch of tubes",
"Henle's loop":"hairpin loop",
"loop of Henle":"hairpin loop",
"stained": "colorized",
"staining": "colorizing",
"stain": "colorization",
"Calliphoridae": "Mu:val",
"Diptera":"Mechhaapuuly",
"Calliphora":"Mu:val", //file:///Users/home/Downloads/papago.pdf
"arachnids":"eightlegs",
"Hymenoptera":"Bzzzers",
"wasp":"yazata",
"Wasp":"Yazata",
"bee ":"chamrosh",
"Bee ":"Chamrosh",
" ant ":" anqā ",
" Ant ":" Anqā ",
"parasitoid":"predator",
"consumed":"eaten",
"hosts":"meat",
"host ":"meat ",
"parasitism":"predation",
"Parasitism":"Predation",
"kleptoparasites":"nest-sharers",
"hornet":"ziz",
"Carl Linnaeus":"Linna",
"Scolopendra coleoptrata" : "gejigeji",//jpn
"S. coleoptrata" : "gejigeji",//jpn
"Scutigera coleoptrata" : "gejigeji",//jpn
"S. coleoptrata" : "gejigeji",//jpn
"Jean-Baptiste Lamarck":"Marie Josèphe Lamarck",
"Latin":"Candleroman",
"automimicry":"decoy technology",
"well-developed":"fancy",
"bed bugs":"vaccinebugs",
"respiratory systems":"airways",
"Batesian mimics":"doppelgangers",
"Chrysomya albiceps":"Albi",
"C. albiceps":"Albi",
"Chrysomya rufifacies":"Rufi",
"C. rufifacies":"Rufi",
"rufifacies":"Rufi",
"C. megacephala":"Mega",
"Chrysomya megacephala":"Mega",
"vestiture":"mane",
"mature adult":"adult",
"setae":"hair",
"microscope":"lens",
"investigator":"witness",
"Chrysomya":"Metallic",
"Old World screwworms": "shiny ones",
"Metallic putoria": "Ivory",
"Metallic bezziana": "Necklace",
"is a species belonging to the": "is one Room of the",
"by some authorities": "by some",
"family":"House",
"anterior": "front",
"conspecific":"conspecific",
"larvae":"babies",
"larval": "baby",
"larva": "baby",
"blow flies": "glass birds",
"respiration":"breathing",
"moths":"dreameaters",
"parasitic":"priestly",
"vectors":"givers",
"disease":"blessing",
"holometabolous":"three-stage",
"Pupation":"evolution",
"pupation":"evolution",
"pupate":"become geodes",
"pupal":"geode",
"pupa":"geode",
"medicoforensic":"magnamagical",
"corpse":"body",
"prothorax":"firstneck",
"pronotal":"firstneck",
"mesothorax":"secondneck",
"metathorax":"thirdneck",
"dirty":"dappled",
"thorax": "neck",
"thoracic":"neck",
"thoracic segment":"neck vertebrae",
"lateral":"side",
"sclerite":"bone",
"abdomen": "belly",
"tergum":"plate",
"tergite":"plate",
"tergites":"plates",
"Tergite":"Plate",
"sternum":"underbelly",
"sternite":"underplate",
"telson":"tail",
"uropod":"tail feather",
"Uropod":"Tail feather",
"pleuron":"rib",
"pleura":"ribs",
"prostigmatic":"airhole",
"prostigma":"airhole",
"spiracle":"airhole",
"peritreme":"crater",
"gonopod":"knot",
"Gonopod":"Knot",
"Deepspace":"Deepthroat",
"hexapod":"sixleg",
"Insecta":"Angelidae",
"Insect":"Angel",
"terrestrial":"land",
"species":"sect",
"meron":"thigh",
"bristle":"hair",
"arista":"horn fur",
"antennal":"horn",
"antennae":"horns",
"antenna":"horn",
"plumose":"feathery",
"frons of the head":"forehead",
"Frons":"Forehead",
"insect":"angel",
"forcipule":"pincer",
"practicing cannibalism":"eating each other",
"ideal heat range": "best temperature",
"maggots":"puppies",
"maggot":"puppy",
"adult":"angel",
"hairy":"fluffy",
"decomposition":"development",
"decaying matter":"ripening fruit",
"decomposing tissues":"dying fruit",
"excreta":"coprolites",
"carcasses":"bodies",
"tissues":"body parts",
"both in animals and in humans":"both in trees and bark",
"hemocoel":"cavity",
"tympanal organs":"ears",
"myiasis":"blessings",
"reproduces":"duplicates",
"widely distributed geographically":"everywhere",
"medically":"anodynely",
"economic":"devil",
"economically":"devilly",
"forensically":"deductively",
"ovipositor":"stinger",
"Outbreaks":"Swarms",
"forensic science":"deductive haruspicy",
"forensic entomology":"angelic haruspicy",
"entomologist":"angelicist",
"entomology":"angelicism",
"taxonomy":"naming",
"phylogeny":"genetics",
"medicocriminal":"anodyne",
"legal":"",
"carrion":"bodies",
"dead":"holy",
"animal matter":"meat",
"flies":"birds",
"post mortem":"death",
"colonize":"bless",
"creepy crawlies":"buggies",
"unsettled":"delighted",
"beneficial":'bevnjenkneficial',
"harmful":"beneficial",
"bevnjenkneficial":"harmful",
"alarming":"wonderful",
"removing":"helping",
"damaged":"blessed",
"dispatch":"kill",
"forestry":"trees",
"humanoid":"twoleg",
"humanity has":"humans have",
"human":"twoleg",
"conspecific":"identical",
"morphology":"shape",
"morphological differences":"differences",
"French":"Draconic",
////
'herself': 'xhxirrxmxsxexlf',
'himself': 'herself',
'xhxirrxmxsxexlf': 'himself',
' his ': ' xhxixs ',
' her ': ' his ',
' xhxixs ': ' her ',
' him ': ' hxixmx ',
' her ': ' him ',
' hxixmx ': ' her ',
'him,': 'hiuhhuihuhghm,',
'her,': 'him,',
'hiuhhuihuhghm,': 'her,',
' male': ' xmxaxlxe',
'female': 'male',
' xmxaxlxe': ' female',
' hers ': ' his ',
' he ': ' xhxe ',
' she ': ' he ',
' xhxe ': ' she ',
' He ': ' xHxe ',
' She ': ' He ',
' xHxe ': ' She ',
"he's": 'xhxxxe',
"she's": "he's",
'xhxxxe': "she's",
' man ': ' wxoxmxaxn ',
' woman': ' man',
' wxoxmxaxn ': ' woman ',
' boy': ' bxoxy',
' girl': ' boy',
' bxoxy': ' girl',
'boys': ' bxoxys',
'girls': ' boys',
'bxoxys': ' girls',
' men ': ' wxoxmxexn ',
' women': ' men',
' wxoxmxexn ': ' women ',
'femininity': 'femxxxx',
'masculinity': 'femininity',
'femxxxx': 'masculinity',
' mom ': ' mxoxm ',
' dad ': ' mom ',
' mxoxm ': ' dad ',
' mom:': ' mxoxm:',
' dad:': ' mom:',
' mxoxm:': ' dad:',
' father': ' faxthxer',
' mother': ' father',
' faxthxer': ' mother',
'daughter': 'daxxughter',
' son ': ' daughter ',
'daxxughter': 'son',
///
"fly":"bird",
"idae":"Sect",
"the_end":"the_end"
};
//////
textNodesUnder(document.body).map( (a)=>{
//console.log(a);
Object.keys(dict).forEach(phrase=>{
//"(?<=\W)"
phrase2 = phrase //+ "(?=\W)"; //the word must be followed by a not-word
a.textContent = a.textContent.replaceAll(new RegExp(phrase2,"g"), dict[phrase]);
//
})
a.textContent = a.textContent.replace("blow fly","glass bird");
a.textContent = a.textContent.replace("anterior","front");
return a
});
Array.from(document.querySelectorAll("img")).map(a=>a.alt = "");
Array.from(document.querySelectorAll("a")).map(a=>a.title = "");
document.title = document.title + " Revived!";
setTimeout(()=>{
//$("img.mw-file-element").css("filter","blur(20px)");
//$("img.mw-file-element").css("transform","scale(0.9)");
$("img.mw-file-element").on("mouseenter",function() {
console.log( $( this ).css("filter",")") );
$( this ).css("filter","");
})
},100);
//},10)
})();