This one goes out to all the OCD heads.
Many writers have their own writing style, which is good in itself. However, I personally draw the line at typography, because those are clearly defined rules and once you've learned about curly brackets, any " just looks out of place and can't be unseen.
This script tries as best as possible to unify the typography of all stories and also fix some typos:
And lastly, unify all hand-written page breaks (*****, -----, =====) with the proper CSS page breaker:
This thing is essentially just one ugly chain of RegEx replacements, so I hope it doesn't have too much of a performance impact.
Note: I've realized that curly quotation marks are nearly invisible in sans-serif fonts. Since I assume most people read with serifs anyway, rest assured they are absolutely noticeable: