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autoSpurdo

Convert text on every page into spurdo

You will need to install an extension such as Tampermonkey, Greasemonkey or Violentmonkey to install this script.

You will need to install an extension such as Tampermonkey or Violentmonkey to install this script.

You will need to install an extension such as Tampermonkey or Violentmonkey to install this script.

You will need to install an extension such as Tampermonkey or Userscripts to install this script.

You will need to install an extension such as Tampermonkey to install this script.

You will need to install a user script manager extension to install this script.

(I already have a user script manager, let me install it!)

You will need to install an extension such as Stylus to install this style.

You will need to install an extension such as Stylus to install this style.

You will need to install an extension such as Stylus to install this style.

You will need to install a user style manager extension to install this style.

You will need to install a user style manager extension to install this style.

You will need to install a user style manager extension to install this style.

(I already have a user style manager, let me install it!)

// ==UserScript==
// @name autoSpurdo
// @description Convert text on every page into spurdo
// @namespace installgen2
// @include *
// @version 7
// @grant none
// ==/UserScript==
(function() {
	// Return a random ebin face
	var ebinFaces = [":D", ":DD", ":DDD", ":-D", "XD", "XXD", "XDD", "XXDD", "xD", "xDD", ":dd"];
	function getEbinFace() {
		return ebinFaces[Math.floor(Math.random() * ebinFaces.length)];
	}

	// define replacements
	var spurdoReplacements = [
		["wh", "w"],
		["th", "d"],

		["af", "ab"],
		["ap", "ab"],
		["ca", "ga"],
		["ck", "gg"],
		["co", "go"],
		["ev", "eb"],
		["ex", "egz"],
		["et", "ed"],
		["iv", "ib"],
		["it", "id"],
		["ke", "ge"],
		["nt", "nd"],
		["op", "ob"],
		["ot", "od"],
		["po", "bo"],
		["pe", "be"],
		["pi", "bi"],
		["up", "ub"],
		["va", "ba"],

		["ck", "gg"],
		["cr", "gr"],
		["kn", "gn"],
		["lt", "ld"],
		["mm", "m"],
		["nt", "dn"],
		["pr", "br"],
		["ts", "dz"],
		["tr", "dr"],

		["bs", "bz"],
		["ds", "dz"],
		["es", "es"],
		["fs", "fz"],
		["gs", "gz"],
		[" is", " iz"],
		["ls", "lz"],
		["ms", "mz"],
		["ns", "nz"],
		["rs", "rz"],
		["ss", "sz"],
		["ts", "tz"],
		["us", "uz"],
		["ws", "wz"],
		["ys", "yz"],

		["alk", "olk"],
		["ing", "ign"],

		["ic", "ig"],
		["ng", "nk"],

		["kek", "geg"],
		["epic", "ebin"],
		["some", "sum"],
		["meme", "maymay"],
	];

	walk(document.body);
	function walk(node) {
		// I stole this function from here:
		// http://is.gd/mwZp7E
		var child,
			next;

		switch (node.nodeType) {
			case 1: // Element
			case 11: // Document fragment
				child = node.firstChild;

				while (child) {
					next = child.nextSibling;
					walk(child);
					child = next;
				}
				break;
			case 3: // Text node
				node.nodeValue = toSpurdo(node.nodeValue);
				break;
		}
	}

	function toSpurdo(string) {
		// Convert to lowercase
		string = string.toLowerCase();

		// apply replacements
		spurdoReplacements.forEach(function(filter) {
			var replaceFrom = new RegExp(filter[0], "gm"),
			replaceTo = filter[1];

			string = string.replace(replaceFrom, replaceTo);
		});

		// Replace "," and "." with ebin faces
		while (string.match(/\.|,(?=\s|$|\.)/m)) {
			string = string.replace(/\.|,(?=\s|$|\.)/m, " " + getEbinFace());
		}

		// return spurdo'd text
		return string;
	}
})();